


ocean eyes

by sunshineboyss



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Selkie AU, Selkies, alt title: ash freaks out and eiji is an angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 09:52:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16060646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineboyss/pseuds/sunshineboyss
Summary: Growing up, Ash never felt that being a selkie was a curse. Of course, that changed when his mother left, taking that part of him that was happy to be a creature of the sea. He moved to the city in hopes of forgetting it, not expecting to come to terms with it when he meets Eiji.Through compassion, love, and dedication, Ash finds the time to heal.(a selkie/human au)





	ocean eyes

**Author's Note:**

> i listened to a lot of songs by the japanese house and bombay bicycle club, childish gambino's because of the internet album, frank ocean's blonde album, anddd some piano osts from spirited away while writing this! so if you want some mood music, then those would be it :) 
> 
> anyways! i hope you enjoy this fic that was just supposed to be like 2k words but ended up being 20k!!!!!

Ash remembers his mother in bits and pieces.

He remembers her being beautiful; it was no wonder his father was completely smitten with her. Her long, golden hair would cascade down her shoulders and backs in beautiful waves. Her green eyes shimmered like they were gems. She was too pretty to be of this world, and she wasn’t.

She would tell Ash about her home in the sea. How she met his father down by the shore, and that they eventually hit it off and found love. Love strong enough to have him, a child of both human and selkie descent. She would take him down to the beach that was right near their home. She would grab their coats that were never hidden, just stored away in a drawer full of her clothes. They both would go into the ocean, spending hours and hours in there while Ash’s father was away for work. Both would never stray too far from the shallow waters, though.

Ash didn’t remember when they stopped going into the sea, but all he knows is that his mom had said it was dangerous to go again. He knows now that it had to do with his dad as well, being scared that his wife would be tempted to abandon him in favor of where she came from. His mom was also scared, that she would no longer love the life she created for herself on land.

Ash also remembers her voice quite clearly. When she sang, it seemed like the world would go still for a moment. They would be tales about the sea, longing in her voice. Anybody who was hearing would stop what they were doing and listen.

Ash should’ve seen it coming. All the signs were there. His mom had eventually left, leaving no traces behind except for there being just one selkie coat in the drawer. She had given Ash one last kiss on his forehead, caressing his hair with a guilty expression on her face.

“Can I go with you?” Ash had asked. He hadn’t completely understood that she was leaving for good.

“Oh, I wish you could, my dear Aslan,” she said, her brows creasing and eyes shining, “but you must make the decision when you’re older, if you want to return to the sea or stay on land.”

Ash watched her walk away. Even through the kitchen window, he could see her retreating form. he watched her until she disappeared, and the waves swallowed her up. After that, Ash’s father locked away his coat. Angered that his wife had left him, he kept his son away from his coat, suspecting that he would follow in her footsteps.

It wasn’t like Ash could exactly go and find his mother either. He was still a child, and going into a place that he only knew so much about was scary for him.

Some nights, when his dad drank too much and was too emotional for his own good, he would call Ash over into the kitchen. There sat his dad, bottle in one hand while the others were being piled up on the table. He would ask Ash why she had left, pain in his voice. Ash had no answer to give, but he knew as he grew up why she couldn’t resist the temptation of going back home.

They always warn humans to not fall in love with creatures of the sea. They’ll always want to return to their origin, no matter how good their life on land was.

However, just as there was cautionary tales for humans, there was also for their selkie kind. Ash’s mother would warn him to be careful of humans. If they were to ever find out about his true identity, and if they were the wrong person, they could keep him away from the ocean for their own sick, twisted desires.

Eventually, Griffin had moved away from their town to enlist into the military (It was only a few years later that they received a letter that he died while serving). His dad found a new wife named Jennifer, who was pretty and kind. Ash never really grew close to her, but that wasn’t to say he hated her. He guessed it had to do something with his mom, and how he was betrayed by the fact that she just upped and left him.

Ash found himself sometimes staring out the window and into the sea. Jennifer would find him like that often, but would never question it. If anything, she would give him his space and had made sure to cook him his favorite dish around dinner time.

He went to the beach a lot more often during the beginnings of his teenage years, hoping to find some sort of solace. He went less often as he grew older as he found it pointless, knowing that there wouldn’t be answers in those deep waters. However, every time he went, he would always try to stay away from going beyond the shore, afraid that maybe he would feel the call just like his mother did.

 

**—**

 

At the age of 17, Ash decided to leave home. His father and him would get into more and more fights, shouting about the simplest of things but to Ash’s ego, it meant everything.

“Good thing your mother didn’t stick around to see you grow into a hard-headed, stubborn brat,” his father shouted. That’s where Ash drew the line, finally deciding to pack up and move into the city. To escape the rural town that was too quiet now. To where the city could drown out the whispers of the sea.

Jennifer tried to convince him to stay, saying that his father loved him but just was inadequate expressing it. She tried to stop him from putting his clothes and things he considered precious enough to take with him into a ratty backpack.

Ash had made up his mind though.

Jennifer sighed. She left his bedroom and returned with a small, wooden box carved delicately. There was grooves detailing the box with ornate curves and designs. In her other hand, she held a small, silver key that hung off a necklace.

“Here,” she said, handing both objects to him.

Ash took them both, looking at her in confusion, “What is this?”

“Your coat is in there,” Jennifer explained, “your dad never really looks at it anymore so I doubt he’ll notice that its gone.”

Ash looked closely at the designs, detailing the oceans waves and at the middle near the keyhole, there was a small carving of a seal. He ran his fingers through the impressions and looked back at Jennifer. She didn’t have to give it to him, but yet she decided to. He also didn’t question how she knew. His father never really talked about his mother or him being a selkie.

“Thanks,” he said quietly, but genuinely grateful. He wouldn’t open it now. For some reason, it felt wrong to even do so. It was a part of his past that was kept locked away, both literally and metaphorically. Ash tucked the box beneath the layers of clothes in his bag, and hung the necklace with the key around his neck.

Shortly after, Ash left to New York City and never looked back at Cape Cod; the town near the ocean, where the waves called his mother and every now and then, beckoned at him too.

 

—

 

It had been three months since Eiji had set foot in New York City and had assumed an occupation as Ibe’s assistant.

Ibe’s photography studio had come a long way from its humble beginnings. Although it was still expanding, there was more and more customers every day who were interested in photo shoots and booking them for events. He had called Eiji, offering him a job position as his assistant. It didn’t take too much convincing on his behalf, since Ibe had caught wind that Eiji’s dreams of continuing pole vaulting had been crushed. Ibe had told him it would do him some good to get out of his own head and help him out.

Eiji had been living with Ibe in his small, but not too uncomfortable, apartment room that was not too far from the studio. The neighborhood they were in was almost old-timey, still holding influences of old-timey architectural styles. It was a cute neighborhood, and Eiji would often go down to just take pictures of different places and spots of the streets that made a great photo-op.

Just across the street and next to an Italian coffee shop, who had the nicest elderly shop owners Eiji had ever met, was a nice little bookstore named ‘Wolf's Den’. It was quaint. There was shelves covering all the walls, with a nice seating area by the window looking out into the street, and with more tables and seats in the middle. Ibe knew the owner, who was a tall, intimidating man at first glance, and went by the name Max Lobo, but was actually a big goofball and would joke around with Ibe often.

Max had welcomed Eiji into the shop when Ibe had first brought him in there. Ibe had suggested for Eiji to practice his English by reading books and Eiji had taken his advice. On days where he was off from work, or whenever he had free time, he would go to the bookstore and pick out the books that seemed interesting to him. Most of the time he would gravitate to the ones about photography as he was always looking for new tips and tricks.

More than often, Eiji would run into a blond boy. He always seemed to be there when Eiji was there. His hair reflected the sun’s rays whenever he sat by the window, and he had a particular shade of green eyes that Eiji would be entranced by whenever they would make eye contact. He wanted to make conversation after the first few times they would see each other in the store, but was always too hesitant to suddenly go up to him. What would he even say? All they in common was that they frequented the same bookstore.

So, Eiji would simply just stare from a distance, his eyes wandering away from the book he was reading to the blonde boy with the beautiful jade eyes.

 

—

 

After a late night in the studio, Eiji found himself craving Chinese food. He was too lazy to actually make something to eat, and he knew Ibe wouldn’t make dinner past 11 P.M. He had given Eiji a twenty dollar bill and gave him his order.

Eiji stepped into the neighborhood’s Chinese restaurant, Chang Dai, one that he favored over the others. It had gotten to the point that he was a regular customer, and that he and the workers knew each other on first name basis. Eiji also had their phone number, which he would order from so often that one time when he hadn’t ordered in a while, they texted him asking if he was doing alright.

“Hey, Eiji!”

“Hi, Shorter,” Eiji greeted the man behind the counter, sitting on a barstool and playing on his phone, who was always perpetually wearing shades. Shorter always played up his appearance, Eiji had realized as he’s seen him sport multiple hair colors that now had been shaven for a close buzz cut. There was not too many customers, seeing that it was almost midnight.

“Nadia is not around?” Eiji asked, finding it a bit odd that Shorter’s older sister was not helping around the restaurant.

“Nah, it’s just me tonight. She has a date with her boyfriend,” he said, shrugging and standing up, “so, is it the usual for tonight?”

Eiji nods, “Yes, please,” he smiles.

“Right on it,” Shorter said.

Eiji and him idly chat. Eiji shares some work stories when asked, and Shorter updated him on his crazy, full of adventures stories.

“Did you see that a new Chinese restaurant is opening just down the block?” Shorter asked.

Eiji shook his head, “Not at all.”

“Yeah. They’re advertising it as a hip, cool, and trendy place. ‘An infusion between modern and traditional,’” Shorter said in a mocking voice.

“Do you know who the owners are?” Eiji asked, watching Shorter pack the order neatly together.

“It’s that rich Lee family,” Shorter said, “opening up that restaurant will create competition, Eiji! We’ll be rivals, not that I don’t mind, but what will happen if they’re better?”

Eiji smiles, “Shorter, do not worry. If anything, the food here is better than any other restaurant that I have been to. You also had that magazine say you were one of the best places in the neighborhood this year, correct?”

Shorter thoughtfully mulls Eiji’s words over, “You’re right. You’re right! Thank you, Eiji,” he grins. he hands over his order in a plastic bag, and Eiji hands over the money.

“It’s no problem,” Eiji said, taking the bag.

He begins to walk towards the exit, turning back to wave goodbye to Shorter. In that split second of turning around, Eiji manages to bump into someone.

He holds the food tightly in his hands in order to secure it from not falling. He’s ready to start apologizing, the words already starting to nervously pour out of his mouth but once he looks at who he bumped into, all apologies escape him and instead opts for:

“You’re the bookstore guy,” Eiji said, almost out of breath.

Well, he’s a good few inches taller than Eiji, he notices as he states up into those green eyes.

The bookstore guy looks at Eiji with a nonchalant expression, which then turns into one that looks vaguely confused, “Yes I am?”

“You two know each other?” Shorter practically yells from behind the counter.

Eiji opens and closes his mouth, which he thinks he must look like a fish gasping for air, scrambling to find an answer because they aren’t really friends, they just see each other often but never spoken.

“Not really,” the bookstore guy answers first, “he goes to Max’s bookstore often enough, that's all.”

Eiji nods in confirmation, “Y-yes.”

Bookstore guy looks at him once more, then glances to Shorter, “Is my order ready?” he asked, already moving past the incident and forgetting that Eiji bumped into him rather rudely.

“When I texted you, I said in twenty minutes. It’s just been five that has passed since,” Shorter said, a little bit of exasperation in his voice.

Bookstore guy makes a clicking sound in his mouth, clearly disappointed.

Shorter is ready to fight back, ready to defend the carefulness and craftsmanship that the chefs put into the food and that “Chinese cuisine can’t be rushed if you want it perfect!”, when Eiji decides to leave.

Eiji walks quickly down the street, trying not to be embarrassed that he had just bumped into the bookstore guy. The guy that Eiji always wanted to talk with, the guy that always seemed too handsome for his own good. Now that was ruined.

He hadn’t even apologized! He just dumbly blurted out “you’re the bookstore guy!”

Eiji realizes this once he sets the food down on the dinner table in Ibe’s apartment. He groans into his hands, clearly mortified.

“Did something happen?” Ibe asked, stepping into the kitchen area, already in his pajamas.

“I–“ Eiji begins, “no, nothing,” he quickly shuts up, “Let’s eat!”

 

—

 

It just so happened to be that Eiji ran into the bookstore guy at the coffee shop just before going into his shift at the studio. He was waiting for his drinks when he saw him come in. He looked away before he saw that he noticed him, opting to look at his phone instead and pretending like there was messages he had to reply to.

He heard him order his drink, a simple iced coffee with caramel syrup and milk, before heading over to where Eiji was to wait for his drink.

“Oh, its you again,” Bookstore guy said.

Eiji looked away from his phone and up at him, pretending like he just noticed him, “Oh, hi,” he said, offering a polite smile.

“I’m just waiting for my drinks,” Eiji said said rather awkwardly, hoping to continue the conversation as he realized this was the first time he had ever directly spoken to him.

“I can see that,” Ash said, looking amused.

A beat of silence washes over them. Eiji plays with the edges of his fingernails, fidgeting as a way to get rid of the building nerves.

“I’m Ash, by the way,” Ash said, “I think we’ve seen each other enough that we should be on first name basis.”

Eiji’s brain short circuits, almost in disbelief that he now knows mystery bookstore guy’s name. He almost forgets to speak back, looking at Ash almost dumbly.

“Eiji,” he said back.

“Eiji? That’s foreign,” Ash notices.

“I’m from Japan,” Eiji informs him, a smile working onto his lips.

Ash whistles, “That’s far away. What are you doing in New York City out of all places?”

“I’m a photographer’s assistant,” Eiji said, “the studio is just a few shops down,” he points towards the outside through the large windows, where the studio could visibly be seen. He could see Ibe getting ready to open for the day.

“Oh, Ibe’s studio?” Ash asked.

Eiji nods, surprised, “You know Ibe-san?”

“Kind of, he’s an acquaintance,” Ash responds, not explaining more. Eiji’s intrigued, but he knows its not polite to press on.

“Order for Eiji ready!” a voice rings out behind the counter. Eiji excuses himself to pick up the two drinks, saying thank you to the employee. He really wishes he could keep on talking to Ash, but he knows Ibe would scold him for taking longer than he was supposed to.

“I have to go,” Eiji said,almost guiltily even if there was no reason to be so.

Ash nods and gives Eiji a small smile, “It was nice meeting you, Eiji.”

Eiji can’t help but grin, “You too, Ash.”

As he’s exiting the shop, he quickly remembers, “Oh! About bumping into you yesterday, I’m sorry!” he says, a little loudly.

Ash waves it off, “It’s no problem.”

Eiji frowns, wanting to make it up to Ash. “The next thing you buy here is on me, okay?”

Ash’s eyes widen just a fraction before he chuckles and gives him an amused smile, “Alright, alright.”

Eiji feels satisfied and tells him one last goodbye before finally going to work, ignoring the way he felt his heart race just a little at the sight of his smile.

 

—

 

Ash had seen Eiji plenty before in Max’s bookstore. He noticed how he would peer over at him when he thought Ash wasn’t looking. But, he never actually talked to him. The Japanese male kept to himself and his books.

So, bumping into him in Shorter’s restaurant was a surprise.

“You and him know each other?” Ash asked after it was just Shorter and him.

“He’s Eiji. He’s a regular customer. Nicest guy I have ever met, really,” Shorter said, “I think the two of you would get along.”

“I really don’t get along with anyone, Shorter, you know that,” Ash said.

“Eiji’s a saint, though. He could put up with you,” Shorter said.

So, when Ash meets him again in the coffee shop right next to Max’s bookstore, he decides to introduce himself. He enjoys the softness in Eiji’s voice and the way his slight accent adds to him. He doesn’t expect Eiji to know Ibe, a close friend of Max’s that he’s met before. But, so far he’s learned that Eiji is a really nice guy and an assistant photographer.

He heads back to his apartment after grabbing his drink, briefly debating in his head if he should tell Max of his newfound acquaintance, and how he worked for Ibe. Max should’ve already met him, since him and Ibe were friends. However, he decided to just head home and tell Max next time he stepped into the bookstore.

Home is what he made of it. His 800 feet square apartment in Manhattan was small, but comfortable enough for him. It was one bedroom that was spacious enough, a bathroom, a kitchen that had a nice view to the community garden next door, and a living space. There was a deck that showed the city’s skyline when he looked out, and he found it comforting. It wasn’t the same feeling that seeing the ocean invoked in him, but it was nice enough that he could forget the overlapping waves and their beauty.

Ash hasn’t had anyone to speak about being a selkie. The wooden box with his coat was kept locked and away on the uppermost shelf in his closet. He still wore the key to it around his neck. He’s thought of simply tossing the key into the closet many times; he knew he wasn’t going to follow his mother’s footsteps any time soon or at all for that matter, but he found himself still wearing it. Maybe it was comforting. He kept a piece of that identity with him at all times.

The only times he was reminded of being a selkie were few. Whenever he sang along to a song playing on the old radio in his kitchen as he cleaned, he found that he sang in perfect pitch and tune.

One time, the nice lady neighbor, who had recently became a mom a few days ago, had knocked after Ash had stopped singing with her newborn in her arms.

“Your singing was so beautiful Ash, I just wanted to let you know,” she said, smiling as she rocked the newborn, “Little Adam here couldn’t stop crying, but as soon as he heard you through the walls, he just stopped.”

Ash glanced at the newborn, who was sleeping peacefully, his light hair tousled. He gave a little smile, “I’m glad I could help.”

He knew a selkie’s singing could affect humans in inexplicable ways. He had read up on his kind more and more, filling in the gaps of what his mother didn’t tell him. Their voice had all the calmness in the world encompassed in it, and would entrap the hearts of others. He remembers how his mother would sing and the world would seem to stop, making it seem like everything was just right for those few minutes.

The other time when somebody else had commented something about himself was when he was invited to go swimming in a public pool with Shorter.

Ash had just moved into the city and met Shorter as he almost ran over Ash’s foot with his bicycle. They had hit it off and became fast friends. It was a particularly scorching summer, and Shorter suggested that they would go to a public pool. Ash agreed and tagged along.

“Dude, you swim _extremely_ fast. Were you in a team when you were a kid or what?” Shorter asked after they were getting ready to leave, drying themselves off with their towels and changing into dry clothes.

Ash paused, heart stopping for just a second.

“No,” Ash replied, feigning ignorance, “I just swim like that.”

Shorter grinned, “That’s super cool.”

And that was that.

 

—

 

There was one incident that left Ash shaken up. It was the winter of his second year in NYC. His usual hangout was at the national library that was a considerable drive from his place, but it was big and had big, large windows that Ash liked enough to take the subway to it.

There was an older man that would frequent the place as well, a bald one that was always wearing designer clothing. By accident, Ash had dropped a book he had checked out as he leaving the place and it just happened to be so that the same older man picked it up for him.

“Thanks,” Ash said, taking the book back. The older man flashed him a grin, making Ash’s skin crawl.

After that, the older man would greet him if they were at the library at the same day and time, which seemed like always by then. He would go by and sit with Ash as he read the books on the desks.

Ash eventually learned that the man’s name was Dino Golzine.

He tried on multiple occasions to ask Ash out for coffee with the offer on chatting about books. Ash never complied, knowing that he should stay away from this man. There was something off about him.

When Ash decided to go back to his apartment, he always made sure to stop somewhere else before heading directly home. For some reason, he felt that he was being watched and followed after leaving the library. He would go to Shorter’s place when that would happen. Nadia would often be there and be happy enough to have Ash as a guest, serving him lunch if he was hungry, or simply making him tea to pass the time. He went home as soon as he thought he was safe.

Ash then found Max’s bookstore as his next hangout. He was getting rather creeped out and stopped going to the library, hoping to never see Dino Golzine ever again.

A few weeks after establishing Wolf's Den as his place to read, he saw that Max had left one of his newspapers out in the open. It was about closing time, and Max was starting to put back the books that were laid out in the open and count the money made that day. He had grown close enough to Ash, having an affinity for the teen that he let him hang out after closing hours and up in Max’s living space on the second floor of the store.

Ash’s eyes caught the headline ‘NYPD FINDS ABDUCTED CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS IN WAREHOUSE’, and he took the newspaper. As he read, his eyes saw that Dino Golzine had been responsible for abducting six kids and teens, hiding them out in a warehouse where he planned on keeping them them before shipping them out to god knows where.

“Hey, Ash, you alright there?” Max asked, stepping out from the backroom with a broom in hand.

Ash turned his attention to him, simply shaking his head and showing Max the newspaper, “It’s just terrible.”

He didn’t tell Max how this man was in Ash’s life for a few weeks, and how he would talk to him and try to get him to hang out— how dangerously close he had gotten to Ash.

When he went home that night, he searches up the headline on his old, beaten up laptop that he had gotten at a secondhand shop. There’s a bunch of articles, all detailing the atrocities of the crime and how families had been worried sick. What he wanted to know was how the kids looked like. For some reason, he _had_ to know.

He felt his heart sink down into his stomach as he saw the pictures and videos of them wrapped in blankets and being consoled, instantly recognizing what these kids were as he gazed into their eyes that stared sadly at the camera.

He remembers his mom telling him that if Ash were to ever come across one of their own, or one of their sister species, on land, he would be able to instantly recognize them. It was something that existed out of necessity to be protected and allied, a product of evolution.

Ash felt chills run along his arms and legs and his hands shake a little. He looks at them a bit more, surprised by not knowing how many of them actually existed out there in the world, nevertheless in New York City. That could’ve been him, Ash realizes. He closes the web browser, too preoccupied that if he had fallen under Dino ’s entrapment, he could’ve been abducted and treated horribly. He would’ve been sold off for his pelt– for what he was.

Ash looks at the wooden box hidden deep in his closet before going to sleep, feeling like that part of him was almost a curse rather than a beautiful thing as his mother had said.

 

—

 

“You and Ash know each other?” Max asked, seeing Ash and Eiji talk in his bookstore as he shelves away some stray books left out by customers.

Eiji looks up at Max to nod, “We met a few weeks ago.”

Ash confirms this, “Apparently everyone _we_ know knows who we are, so we had to meet sooner or later.”

Max contemplates this before he gives Eiji a grin, “Well, good luck dealing with Ash, Eiji. This guy is tough to handle.”

“Hey!” Ash tries to defend himself but Max laughs all the way back to his post behind the register.

Eiji looks at Ash, smiling at him, “I don’t see why everybody is telling me to watch out. I think you’re great, Ash,” he comments, reassuring Ash that he didn’t think anything less of him even after everyone was teasing their newfound friendship.

Ash feels oddly comforted at that statement and he doesn’t know how to respond to such a genuine comment.

“I–“ Ash starts, at a loss for words.

“Thanks,” he settles for. The corners of Eiji’s lips turn upwards, giving him a warm smile that makes his eyes crinkle just the slightest.

“So, you live right there?” Ash continues their conversation before Max came and rudely interrupted. He points to the apartment complex right across the bookstore, covered in brown brick with green accents and was only three stories high.

Eiji nods, “Ibe and I. We live on the third floor,” he said, “he was kind enough to take me in when I came to work for him.”

“How do you like it here?” Ash asked, curious to hear how Eiji’s life was going so far in the city. He knows that moving to somewhere else all by yourself was difficult, but he can’t imagine moving to a whole other country felt like.

“I like it,” Eiji shrugs, “New York City is big. It is different from my hometown.”

Ash makes a noise of understanding, waiting for Eiji to continue.

Eiji looks at him, then to the window as he speaks, “My hometown, there’s not much. It’s pretty old, old enough that they call it the town where the gods,” His tone of voice becomes almost soft and calming, “the ocean is nearby. It’s rural and quiet, but I think the scenery is beautiful.”

“You can see the nearby mountains in the distance, and when the sun sets, it is like the colors swallow up the whole town. It’s even more beautiful if you go down to the beach at that time, and seeing the water glitter in the light,” he said. Ash can see how his eyes seem like they’re far away, reminiscing and remembering.

“Sorry,” Eiji suddenly said, smiling sheepishly and the corner of his ears turning slightly red, “I rambled.”

Ash shakes his head, “It’s fine. It sounds peaceful, your hometown,” he said, “it reminds me of my own.”

“You are not from the city?” Eiji questions, surprise tinting his voice.

“No. My hometown is about a four hour drive from here,” Ash explains, feeling like he can truly open up to Eiji, since he has never really told anyone from where he was.

“It’s called Cape Cod. Like yours, there’s nothing really out there, nothing out for miles, but the ocean that surrounds it is what makes it so nice,” he continues, remembering how he would gaze out his bedroom window and feeling the calmness that the ocean enveloped him in. How safe he felt near his home.

“Do you miss it, Ash?” Eiji asked sincerely.

Ash thinks. He thinks about how his mother took him out to the waters as soon as he was old enough to stand on his own. How she would guide him, giving him his coat and encouraging him to step into the water. Her open arms, her body halfway into the water, holding Ash close to her as he felt himself become one with the sea.

He thinks about how he felt after she left. His childhood was full of him wondering where he belonged. On land or out in the sea? Did his mother feel that strong of a pull towards the endless expanse of the waters out there that she just had to leave? When will that same feeling come for him? Will it ever?

“I really don’t know,” Ash replies, feeling conflicted.

 

—

 

Eiji remembers his grandmother telling him stories about the creatures that lied in the sea.

Izumo was a town that bordered the ocean, so it was only natural that the local’s stories revolved the ocean and the mysteries behind it, and for those stories to be passed down through generations.

His grandmother had sat Eiji down one humid and hot afternoon. He was helping her peel oranges in the sun room of the house for a fruit salad dish, and the fan blowing air only provided him with minimal relief as a bead of sweat trickled down his forehead.

“Your great-grandfather,” His grandmother started off, handing Eiji a napkin to wipe himself off, “he fell in love with one of the beings from the sea.”

Eiji tried to wrap this concept around his seven year old mind. As far as he knew, only fishes and scary animals existed in the waters.

“He said that one morning, when he went out to fish, he saw a beautiful woman peeking her head out of the water. Thinking it was someone who needed help, he rushed into the water to get her, but was surprised when she started laughing,” his grandmother continued.

“She wasn’t drowning?” Eiji asked.

His grandmother shook her head, “Not at all. In fact, your great-grandfather started to drown from being too far off from the shore. The woman took him back to land, and he kept on thanking her. He offered to treat her to some tea back at the house, but she denied.”

“When he came back the next day, she was there. It was like that for quite some time, him going to fish, and her being there. They grew close. She revealed that she was a selkie once she trusted your great-grandfather enough,” his grandmother smiled; she must’ve been remembering how he had told her this story.

“A selkie?” Eiji questioned, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he heard this new word.

“Selkies are seal folks. They have the ability to be fully human, growing two legs and all, as they can shed their skin to come to land,” his grandmother explained.

Eiji looked at her, clearly even more confused, but was willing to accept this new information. His mind ran wild with the images of a cute little seal suddenly turning into a human.

“Your great-grandfather and this selkie woman eventually fell in love,” she said before being interrupted by Eiji shouting:

“They had kids?!” He exclaimed, now wondering if his grandmother was part selkie, which made _him_ selkie, too! He was beginning to place down the half-peeled orange and planned to run down to the beach and jump into the water, even if he didn't learn to how to swim yet, and-

“No, they didn’t,” his grandmother calmly answered.

“Oh,” Eiji said in disappointment, already sitting back down and taking back the orange.

“The thing about selkies and all the folk that come from the sea, my dear Eiji, is that they’ll always want to return back home. They come to land for various of reasons, but almost always, they will go back to the sea,” his grandmother said wisely.

“Your great-grandfather loved that woman very much, and while he was heartbroken that she had left, he didn’t hold her back.”

“Why not?” Eiji asked.

Eiji will never forget the words she said next, her voice so empathetic that he couldn’t help but _feel_ for his great-grandfather and the selkie woman he loved.

It was cruel to keep such beings away from their home, she had said, and that if you really loved someone so much and wanted only the best for them, then you would let them do as they pleased. To never restrain them from their wants and needs, even if it meant them leaving you.

 

—

 

Ash didn’t expect to grow so close to Eiji.

After exchanging phone numbers, they hung out much more often. On days that Eiji’s shift ended around the afternoon, Ash would meet him up in the coffee shop to talk about his day and ramble on about the stresses of photography and their clients. Ash enjoyed hearing him talk, leaning his head on the palm of his hand and laughing occasionally when the conversation called for it.

On his days off, Eiji would hang out with Ash all day. Ash showed Eiji some hidden gems in the city and far away from the usual tourist attractions. They visited Max, who had gotten used to seeing both of them together so often that he would question where the other was if one of them showed up by themselves.

(“We’re not exactly joined at the hip,” Ash said after Max had asked the first time he visited the store without Eiji in tow.

“It’s starting to be that way,” Max snorted.

Before Ash could retaliate, Max quickly backed himself up.

“It isn’t a bad thing. In fact, I think you’ve changed in a good way after meeting him.”)

Even Ibe welcomed Ash into his apartment when Eiji showed up with him, telling Ash to make himself right at home.

It wasn’t surprising that Ash was starting to develop what he defined as a crush on Eiji. He spent so much time around him and found himself liking him as not only a friend, but as someone he wouldn’t mind holding hands with and kissing. Eiji was adorable. His personality was all rounded edges and oozed kindness, never asking more of Ash and never tried to pry into his past or things he didn’t exactly explain much of. His compassion was great, but he also liked his sharp replies, stubbornness, and how his humor meshed well with Ash’s.

He only hoped Eiji felt the same. That maybe those glances he caught before the other would turn away were a sign of interest, and that maybe that one time where Ash accidentally brushed his hand as they walked side by side, and Eiji had startled just the slightest and stammered his words in the middle of speaking–

He wasn’t going to get his hopes up. But he felt compelled to ask Shorter to be the middleman, to find out if Eiji held any romantic interest in him and to relay that information to him.He briefly considered it but decided against it, critiquing himself by saying “we’re not in high school.”

So, when Eiji showed up at Ash’s apartment for the first time and unannounced, he didn’t exactly freak out. In fact, he was more concerned with the fact that Eiji was nearly soaking wet and holding a few shopping bags close to his body under his jacket to keep them protected. He really looked quite sorry looking as he stood there in the hallway, waiting to be let in.

Ash motioned for him to come in as he stepped aside.

“You got caught in the rain?” Ash asked, closing the door behind him.

“Yeah,” Eiji said. He sets the bags down and Ash looks at them curiously.

“I was doing some Christmas shopping,” Eiji explained, “Ibe-san let me go early today since there wasn’t a lot happening at the studio.”

“I was already heading back home when it started raining. I hope you don’t mind me here,” Eiji said, worrying that maybe he was intruding.

“It’s fine, Eiji. Let me get you a towel,” Ash reassures him before he goes off into the laundry room to grab one of his fluffiest towels and an extra set of clothes that hopefully fit Eiji.

Eiji stands there, looking around the apartment but not moving from his spot in fear that he’ll make a mess.

“Here,” Ash hands him the towel and the change of clothes, “the bathroom is on the hallway to the left.”

Eiji grabs the towel and clothes and looks at Ash, “Thank you, Ash,” he said, smiling.

Ash could stand there looking at how Eiji’s smiles never fail to reach his eyes, how soft he looks, especially with his hair plastered to his forehead and the few drops of water still dripping down his face.

“It’s no problem,” Ash said, his voice almost a quiet whisper.

Eiji toes off his shoes and balances on one foot to take off his socks before he heads to where Ash pointed to where the bathroom was.

Ash then realizes that Eiji is in his apartment for the _first_ time. He quickly scans the apartment to see if it’s decently clean. He highers up the thermostat just a bit, conscious of how Eiji must be cold from just coming in from the rain. He looks at the bags Eiji left in the front and moves them to the nearest coffee table, wanting to peek inside but he knows that he would be disappointed in him if he snuck a glance at the presents.

It reminded Ash that Christmas was near, only in a few weeks. He should go out and buy presents. For the past years that he’s lived in NYC, he’s only bought Max, Shorter, and Nadia gifts. This year, he had Eiji and Ibe to buy for.

Ash heard the bathroom door open and close, snapping him out of his thoughts. Eiji walked into the living space and looked positively cute. Ash’s long sleeved shirt hung a little loose, while the pajama pants were slightly dragging on the floor enough.

Ash resisted the urge to go up and kiss him.

“It’s still raining hard,” Eiji observed as he looked at the window in the kitchen, watching how the rain was still coming on strong. The strong winds blew the trees outside, and every now and then, the sound of thunder was heard, followed by a lightning bolt in the distance.

“Yeah,” Ash said, “you can stay until the storm clears up.”

“That would be nice. Thank you,” Eiji said, crossing the living room to go and check his bags on the table. When he sees that none of the presents have gotten wet, he sighs in relief.

“What did you buy?” Ash asked, sitting down on the couch.

Eiji turns to him and gives him a little teasing smile, “They’re _presents_ , Ash. They’re supposed to be surprises.”

Ash huffs, “You don’t have to tell me what you bought me.”

Eiji shakes his head, “I want it to be a surprise, so you’re not getting a word out of me.” He sits a few inches away from Ash on the couch, propping his feet up so he can rest his head on his knees.

“I wouldn’t tell anybody,” Ash said but Eiji shakes his head again, still standing by his decision.

They’re quiet. The audio of the television, playing a random local channel that Ash wasn’t paying attention to even before Eiji arrived, serves as their background noise mixed with the storm outside. It’s comfortable, the silence.

Then, after a particular strong-sounding lightning bolt that was followed by thunder, the lights go off.

After some initial confusion and a squeak from Eiji, Ash goes out to fetch some candles he has stored in the kitchen. He places them in the kitchen, living room, and his bedroom. He realizes that without electricity, the heater wouldn’t work. He curses the decision his landlord made by switching out the gas to just electricity in the building a few weeks ago. Ash contemplates moving the blankets from his bed to the couch, but decides he’s too lazy to do so.

He tells Eiji that they should move to the bedroom, which then Eiji teases him by winking playfully. Ash smacks him lightly on the shoulders, “It’s so we won’t freeze,” he clarifies and Eiji laughs, telling him that he was just joking around.

They both settle onto the bed. It wasn’t so small that it couldn’t fit both of them on there, but not so large that they had room to move around. They both sit, watching the storm go on and on from the window.

“Does it rain like this in Japan?” Ash asked.

“During typhoon season,” Eiji answers, his voice quiet that the rain almost drowns it out, “It’s kind of reminding me a little bit of home right now.”

“I used to be scared of thunderstorms when I was a kid,” Ash said.

“Another fear to add to the list, I see,” Eiji said, reminding him that he still knew that Ash was afraid of pumpkins.

Ash rolls his eyes, “I got over it, it’s different from the pumpkins.”

Eiji smiles, waiting for him to go on. He stretches his legs out on the bed as he makes himself comfortable.

“Whenever it used to thunder, I would go into my parents room and hide there. My mom was usually there, since my dad used to work late,” Ash said. This might be his first time mentioning his mom to Eiji now that he thinks about it. Eiji talked about his family when the conversation led to it, but he never talked about his own.

“I would hide underneath the blankets and she would try to get me to come out,” Ash said. He remembers how he thought it looked so scary outside, the rain falling harshly, the winds shaking every tree, and the ocean looking terrifying. That’s what scared him the most, how the view of the ocean looked so much more vastless and frightening during storms.

_“Aslan, come out from under there,” She would say, gently prying him out from the shelter he made for himself under the piles, “We’re inside and we’re safe.”_

_Ash would point to the ocean out there, “It’s so scary.” It looked like it would swallow them up at any moment._

_“The ocean? You shouldn’t be fearful of it,” she said, putting him in her lap and stroking his hair, “it’s your home. The ocean wouldn’t hurt you, dear.”_

_“It won’t?” Ash whispered._

_She shaked her head, “Your a child of the ocean, Aslan. It wouldn’t bring you any harm,” she reassured him._

“It looked so terrifying outside, since we weren’t not too far from the ocean,” Ash said, “but she would comfort me. She told me stories on those days,” stories about her time in the waters, the fun memories about her own life down there.

“I don’t know when I got over the fear of storms, it just happened slowly,” he said, looking over at Eiji. He saw that he was gazing at him with a peaceful expression, his dark eyes not tearing away from him. The shadows casted on his face from the distant flames of the candles only added to how Ash felt his heart quicken, finding Eiji incredibly handsome.

“Hey, Ash,” Eiji started.

“Hm?”

“Your mom, you’ve never talked about her before.”

“Yeah, I haven’t,” Ash said. He makes himself more comfortable on his bed, sitting cross legged and taking one of the blankets from Eiji.

“She left when I was a kid. I couldn’t have been more than seven years old at the time,” He said.

“Oh,” Eiji breathes out, eyebrows furrowing. He shuffles a bit closer to Ash.

Ash doesn’t mind that their knees are touching now, hands only pinky-width apart. He finds it comforting, if anything. Everything about Eiji was comforting.

“She never returned. I waited a few years for her to come back, but nothing happened. The world moved on. My dad found another woman, my brother enlisted in the army, and I gave up on her coming back,” Ash continued.

He didn’t even notice that Eiji had looped their pinkies together. A barely there touch, but Ash appreciated it.

“She was a good mom. She wasn’t horrible. There’s a lot of good memories I have of her,” Ash’s voice was quiet now, only so Eiji could hear, even if they were the only two in the apartment.

He couldn’t tell Eiji that his mother was a selkie. He would be telling him that he was one, too. How would Eiji react? He’s probably never even heard what selkies were. He trusted Eiji with every inch of his being, but even then, he didn’t feel ready.

Maybe he could take Eiji to Cape Cod one weekend. He could show him the place where he grew up, take him down to the shore, show him his pelt that he kept in the box all these years and–

and everything would be alright.

Eiji reached out to wipe away a few tears that were falling down Ash’s cheek. He didn’t realize that he was crying.

“I’m sure she loved you very much, Ash,” Eiji said.

“Aslan,” Ash said.

Eiji tilted his head just a bit in confusion.

“Aslan Jade Callenreese,” Ash said, “that’s the name she gave me.”

“It isn’t Ash Lynx?” Eiji asked genuinely baffled.

Ash laughed a little, “Ash is my nickname, but the Lynx part is just something Shorter came up with when we were younger and it just stuck.”

“Aslan Jade Callenreese,” Eiji repeated.

Ash felt a pleasant tingle down his spine at Eiji saying that, smiling just a bit.

“Jade, that’s fitting. Like your eyes,” Eiji commented, leaning a little forward and swiping his thumb under his eye, “it’s pretty.”

“Yeah… Thanks,” Ash breathed out, now aware of how close they were to one another. So close that they were breathing the same air. He wondered if Eiji could hear how fast his heart was thumping. It would be embarrassing if he could.

Eiji searched his face, eyes gazing directly into his own, and then for a split second, he looked down at his lips.

_‘Fuck it,’_ Ash thought before he leaned over, one hand cupping the back of Eiji’s neck and pulling him closer.

“Ash–“ Eiji could only get out before their lips met.

It was just a peck. Ash didn’t want to pressure Eiji. Maybe he misunderstood the signs? Maybe Eiji wasn’t into him? He didn’t want to risk it. He pulled away just as quickly as he initiated the kiss. Ash looked at Eiji, searching for any signs of rejection or disgust. Would Eiji walk out? Even if it was pouring?

“I–“ Ash started to apologize before Eiji cupped Ash’s face and leaned in to kiss Ash, reciprocating his feelings.

Eiji’s lips were pliant and soft, letting Ash move his lips, kissing him just a bit deeper. Ash had been waiting for this for so long now, and it was safe to say that Eiji had been to by how he reacted. He smiled into the kiss, unable to contain how glad he was.

Eiji pulled away first, a flush blooming on his face. He saw Ash’s smile, toothy and one of a love-sick fool, and he giggled, then laughed.

“Was it fine?” Ash asked.

“The kiss?” Eiji asked back, then nodded, “Pretty good for my first kiss.”

“That was your first kiss?” Ash questioned.

“Yeah,” Eiji confirmed.

For some reason, that made Ash blush. He looked away bashfully and Eiji laughed again. He took Ash’s hands into his, “You’re my first.”

Ash could feel his chest swell up with pride from those words. He rested his forehead against the crook of Eiji’s neck, “I’m glad.”

They lapsed into a comfortable silence. Eiji looked out into the rain, one hand stroking Ash’s hair, combing through the blond strands. Ash got closer to his side and got cozy enough that he could easily fall asleep right then and there. His hand rested casually on Eiji’s hip.

“I don’t think the rain is going to let up any time soon,” Ash broke the silence, but his voice was no more than a murmur, “stay overnight.”  

Eiji hummed lightly, “I’ll text Ibe-san, then.” He started to shift away lightly, reaching out for his phone that was on the bedside table but Ash complained.

“Let’s just stay like this for a little while,” He said; he never felt as relaxed and tranquil until now.

Eiji shifted back so Ash could rest on him again, “Alright,” he said.

The rain kept falling harshly outside. Ash fell asleep eventually, but not before he and Eiji moved into a more comfortable position. He laid his head on Eiji’s lap as the other rested against the headboard. Eiji continued to run his fingers through his hair, which Ash found it hard to stay awake. The movement was relaxing and Ash blinked sleepily until he closed his eyes, falling asleep.

 

—

 

Eiji awoke in the morning, at about eight, with a crick in his neck and his back a little sore. He noticed he had moved from the his position when he first fell asleep, as he was now laying curled up on his side, blankets strewn over him.

_Ash?_ Eiji wondered, feeling the space next to him and finding it warm. He sat up, sun shining brightly despite it being winter and cloudy most days. Blearily blinking and waiting to wake up just a bit more, he smelt the sweet, syrupy scent of pancakes being cooked.

He checked his phone from where he had last left it before he got up. He saw that it was barely going to be nine in the morning, and checked on Ibe’s message that was popping up in the corner. After telling him he’d been spending the night at Ash’s, all he had said was to take care and to be at work before his shift.

He got off the bed and wandered into the kitchen, feeling the slight chill on his arms as the warmth from the bed escaped him. But, he did noticed that the apartment was warmer, meaning that there wasn’t a power outage anymore.

Ash was by the stove, looking at the pancake cook and poking it with the spatula, as the pan next to him had bacon sizzling. The old, vintage radio that was on one of the counters was on and playing tunes that Ash was mouthing the words to, occasionally singing out one or two words.

“Good morning,” Eiji greeted. He noticed that Ash jumped slightly before looking at him, “Morning,” he said back, smiling at him.

“Breakfast should be done in a few minutes,” Ash said, pointing the spatula to the dining table for two that seperated the living room from the kitchen, “take a seat.”

Eiji sat down on the chair, listening to sound of the radio and the bustle of city outside as it began to wake up along with its people. Even early in the morning, the faint wail of sirens were already being heard, along with the occasional car horns blasting away.

It was nice, this whole situation. Ash cooking, Eiji waiting for breakfast, the radio playing music, and the noise of the world around them. It felt normal and it felt like something Eiji would like to wake up to every morning.

Thinking about last night’s kiss, Eiji wondered what him and Ash were. Boyfriends? Was one kiss enough to constitute that? He had been crushing on Ash ever since, well, now that he thinks about, maybe ever since the first time he saw him? Sitting at the bookstore, always deep into whatever he was reading, looking handsome and beautiful. As they started talking, he found himself liking Ash even more and more, from his witty replies to his thoughtfulness.

Ash set the plates on the table, sliding a plate over to Eiji before placing the other plate of pancakes for him, and one full of bacon in the middle. The syrup was to the side along with a small jar of strawberry jam; Ash had already placed everything before.

“Thank you,” Eiji said, giving Ash a smile.

“No problem,” Ash replied, already digging into his food as Eiji paused to give his thanks, placing his palms together before cutting into his pancakes.

Eiji had his fair share of American breakfast when he came to the States, but Ibe would always cook the traditional Japanese meal, saying that is was nice to be reminded of home every now and then.

He bit into a piece of pancake that he cut off, pleasantly surprised as it was not too thin nor too thick, and just sweet enough. He looked at Ash, grinning, “‘s good!” he said, mouth full.

Ash flushed a little, “Thanks.”

 

—

 

After breakfast, Ash gave Eiji his clothes from the day before, now dry after he had put them in the dryer. Eiji changed in the bathroom and as the hour neared ten, he began getting ready to leave.

Ash opened the door for him, already ready to say goodbye before Eiji turned.

“Ash, about last night,” Eiji said, his tone tender, “I hope you know that I feel the same.”

Ash gave him a tender look, his shoulders relaxing, “Then be my boyfriend.”

“Seriously?” Eiji asked.

“Yeah, seriously,” Ash nodded.

“Okay, alright. Yes,” Eiji said, almost breathless, “yeah, let’s start dating.” His chest might burst from the swelling happiness inside; his smile stretches into a big, silly grin.

Before leaving, Eiji stood up on his tiptoes to give Ash a kiss on his cheek, and waved from the end of the hallway as he left the apartment complex, “I’ll text you later!” he shouted.

“I’ll be waiting,” Ash said, leaning against the door frame and waving until Eiji went down the stairs and disappeared. Smiling, he touched one hand to his cheek where Eiji’s lips were just a few seconds ago.

 

—

 

Dating Eiji was natural. There was no bumps as they transitioned from being good friends to a couple; it was as natural as breathing.

Holding Eiji’s hand, kissing him every time they separated to go their own ways back home, and casual displays of affection were all so easy and comfortable. They meshed nicely together, both of their personalities complementing each other in ways they didn’t know could happen.

On Christmas Eve, Eiji invited Ash to hang out at his and Ibe’s place.

“You’ll be spending it alone, right?” Eiji asked.

Ash usually spent some Christmas’ days with Shorter and Nadia, but felt like he was intruding sometimes. He knew they cared about him like family, but on some holidays, he preferred staying home, reminiscing on his own memories when his family was still complete.

So, Ash took up the offer, but made sure to buy a chocolate cake as a way to say thank you for both Ibe and Eiji. They both greatly appreciated it and immediately took a slice when Ash set it down on the counter.

As the night went on, Ibe excused himself, saying that Max had invited him out to go have some drinks. Eiji bid him goodbye and a ‘take care’ before closing the door behind the older man. 

“Oh, will you look at that,” Eiji said as he crossed the living room, pointing at the window just straight across that overlooked the neighborhood, “it’s starting to snow.”

Ash looked, seeing that white flecks were starting to fall down from the sky. Hopefully, the whole city would be covered in white, making it look tranquil as the usual bustle would be silenced from the thick coat of the snow.

“I hope Ibe-san took an extra coat or something,” Eiji mumbles, taking a seat next to Ash from makeshift bed they made on the floor. Eiji had dragged in blankets and his pillows, taking the cushions from the couches as well, and had dumped them on the floor.

The Christmas tree that Eiji and Ibe had set up twinkled and glowed in the corner; Ash looked over to Eiji, seeing the warm light of the string of lights on the tree cast a glow on Eiji’s face.

“I’m really lucky,” Ash said, reaching out to lightly brush his fingers across Eiji’s cheek.

Eiji gave a small smile, “Is that so?” he asked, grabbing Ash’s hand with his own. He intertwined their fingers and leaned over to rest his head on Ash’s shoulder. He placed their threaded hands on his lap.

“Well, I’m lucky, too,” Eiji said, “I have the best boyfriend in the world.”

Ash raises an eyebrow, “Really? Who is it?” he asks, feigning ignorance.

Eiji rolls his eyes playfully, “He’s a really handsome guy.”

“Wow, is looks all that you see?” Ash asks, knowing that its not true. He’s having fun teasing Eiji, watching his expression become exasperated but still affectionate.

“He’s a really handsome guy,” Eiji repeats, “who is sweet, funny, and someone I can’t imagine myself without ever since we met.

Ash stills; the kindness in Eiji’s voice is enough to send his heart reeling at the sheer sincerity of his voice. The look in his dark eyes is enough to make Ash want to wrap up Eiji in his arms and let him become his whole world, even if he was already heading that way.

At that moment, all he can do is kiss Eiji.

He kisses Eiji until he’s senseless until one of them separates, catching their breath. Eiji’s little noises drive Ash wild, and if he doesn’t stop himself, he doesn’t know where this will lead to.

Even with the snow outside, the room feels hot and stuffy.

“Ash–“ Eiji said, breathless and wrapping his arms around Ash’s neck. Ash leans into him enough for them to fall on the sheets.

Eiji looks perfect. Hair slightly fanned out into the sheets below, his face slightly red, lips just the tiniest bit of red from the kissing, and an unguarded expression on his face. He trusts Ash with his whole life, Ash realizes.

He wonders how he looks right now. Maybe the same? He feels warm, his face and ears burning.

Ash touches his forehead to Eiji’s and he closes his eyes, “I love you, Eiji.”

Maybe it’s a bit too early to say such things. They had only been dating for a couple of weeks now, but their time together was so much more longer and led to their feelings for each other to cultivate. To grow into beautiful emotions that they felt strongly about. Ash was sure Eiji was his other half.

Eiji takes a moment to register this before he laughs, his voice resounding against the walls of the apartment in such a soft way that Ash feels himself melting.

“I love you, too, Ash,” Eiji replies, pulling down Ash for another kiss.

 

—

 

“Huh? You’re closing the studio for a week?” Ash asks Eiji, almost spilling the cup of coffee he had in his hand as he turns to look at the other male.

“Ibe-san wants to go visit family back in Japan, since we didn’t spend New Years with them,” Eiji explains.

It was the day after New Years Eve. Ash had rang in the New Years with Eiji in his apartment, along with a small get together of their friends. Shorter and Nadia were invited, both having a good time, even if Nadia expressed it in a quieter way. Max and Ibe were on the couch, both drinking the night away until Max had eventually passed out. Ibe, being the more sober one out of the two, watched over the other man, making sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit if he were to puke.

Eiji had stayed after the party with Ash, helping with cleaning the mess from their gathering. Seeing how it was late to be walking the streets of New York at almost four a.m., Ash told Eiji to stay.

“Oh,” Ash said. Eiji would be gone for a week then. What would he do? He was going to have a lot of extra time to spare. Maybe he’ll go annoy Shorter in his restaurant.

“Though, I wanted to ask,” Eiji said, glancing away and looking at whatever was one of the kitchen counters before looking at Ash again, “would you like to come along?”

“To Japan?” Ash asked.

Eiji nodded. He quickly walked towards the bedroom, where Ash heard him shuffling in his bag, before coming back out to the kitchen where they were.

He showed Ash two plane tickets, “It was a bit… arrogant of me to buy two plane tickets right away, but…” Eiji said, placing one ticket on the counter, “Think about it? Please?”

Ash took the ticket in his hands, thinking about it briefly before he made up his mind right on the spot, “Yeah, I’d like to go.”

“It’s fine if you don’t–“ Eiji started, “wait, really?” he asked once realizing that Ash accepted the offer.

“Yeah, I’d like to see the place where you grew up,” Ash said casually, his lips quivering a bit as they wanted to break into a grin. He reads the details on the plane ticket, scheduled two days from now.

“My family will be so excited to meet you,” Eiji said, already imagining his sister going slack-jawed that her brother managed to bring home a handsome, blonde, American.

Ash hums, going around the counter to get closer to Eiji. He circles his arms around his waist, bringing the shorter male closer.

Eiji looks up at him and smiles, his barely-there dimples becoming noticeable.

It seems like Ash doesn’t ever stop thinking how grateful he is for Eiji. Ever since he came into his life, he doesn’t find himself thinking so much on the more glum aspects of his life. He doesn’t think of Griffin’s passing as much anymore; he doesn’t wonder about his father and Jennifer back home as often. He doesn’t contemplate on his mother’s disappearance.

Still, he thinks about how he’ll have to tell Eiji one day about the other part of him. He’ll show him his coat, lead him out into the ocean, and show him who he truly is.

But, as he looks at Eiji, that worry dissipates. _Another day,_ he thinks, contently.

 

—

 

Ash feels all exhaustion consume his body as soon as lays down on the futon in Eiji’s bedroom. It was such a long flight from NYC’s airport to Tokyo, and an additional eight hours in train from Tokyo to Izumo. Eiji and him said goodbye to Ibe once in Izumo, saying that they’ll see each other at least once before they leave.

He greeted Eiji’s family when they arrived at his house, making sure to say hello and a ‘thank you for letting me stay’ in the Japanese that Eiji had taught him. Eiji’s mother grinned when she realized that he was speaking Japanese. She spoke to him in her limited English. His father simply patted Ash’s shoulder with a smile.

Eiji’s younger sister, who looked younger than seventeen, had practically screamed when she first saw Ash. She said something in hurried Japanese to her brother, looking at them both with quick glances. Eiji looked embarrassed and he had smacked his sister on her arm. Eiji’s sister introduced herself as Haruko, her English a bit better than her mother’s.

After eating dinner, Eiji and Ash retired to Eiji’s bedroom, where Ash proceeded to collapse into the futon Eiji’s mother set up. There was extra blankets seeing how it was still winter time.

“Do they know?” Ash asked, hearing Eiji take stuff out of his suitcase and place it on his desk.

“That we’re dating?” Eiji asked back. Ash nodded, leaning on his elbows as he got a look at Eiji.

“My sister knows. I told her,” Eiji answered, “I think my mom knows as well, but my dad does not.”

“Would they be okay with it?” Ash questioned.

“They know about my preference,” Eiji nods and shyly adds, “In fact, I think they’d be happy to know that I was finally dating.”

Ash flops back down on the futon, “Okay, that’s good,” he says, releasing a sigh of relief he didn’t even know he was holding in.

“I’m going to wash up first. Feel free to sleep on the bed,” Eiji said as he heads out to the hallway. Ash gives a sound of confirmation, laying one arm over his eyes as he hears the sound of the door closing.

He thinks about how beautiful Izumo looked like when he first arrived right at sunset; He remembers Eiji saying how the colors of the sky looked like it enveloped the whole town, and it really did. The dusty oranges, pinks, and purples all mixing to display how ethereal the town looked. In the distance, he could see the ocean’s waves reflecting the color.

_The ocean,_ Ash thinks. He hasn’t been this close to sea ever since Cape Cod. He uncovers his eyes and looks to the corner where one of the bags he brought with him sits. He had carefully wrapped up the wooden box containing his pelt. He decided he would show Eiji while they were here for a week, even if the waters were freezing at this time of the year. It didn't affect him.

Thinking about made Ash nervous, but he trusted Eiji.

He didn’t need to be scared of showing a human that he was a selkie. The tales his mother told him of humans trapping and keeping selkies for their own selfish need didn’t apply to Eiji. Not sweet and kind Eiji, who’s only showed him trust and love in a way Ash never experienced before.

Even so, he was still scared. Would Eiji leave him? He didn’t think so, but a voice in the back of his head nagged him of the consequences.

He sighs.

 

—

 

It had been a few days in Japan already. Eiji had showed Ash around his hometown, showing the local shrines and the more underrated tourist spots, and they even spent a day and a half in Tokyo to sightsee.

Eiji had caught his sister throwing him winks and wiggling her eyebrows as they retired for bed each night. He had simply ignored her after the first few times.

His mother had spoken to him about Ash, as well. It was when Eiji’s father took Ash out into the backyard to show him his extensive garden and how proud he was of it. Eiji mouthed him a ‘good luck’ and gave a thumbs up as his father dragged him out. His sister went out with them, deciding to help Ash communicate with their father.

“Ash, that man,” His mother said, handing Eiji some mushrooms so he could wash them underneath the running water of the sink. He was helping his mother prepare lunch, as she planned on making sukiyaki for everybody.

“What about him?” Eiji asked.

“Haru-chan was telling me that,” His mother said, hesitating to say the next words, keeping her attention focused on cutting leeks she had on the cutting board, “that he’s your boyfriend?”

Eiji paused, watching how the drops of water suck the earthy surface of the mushrooms before handing it to his mom, “Yes, he is.”

His mother looked at him, her eyes widening, “Really?”

Eiji nodded.

His mother proceeded in wanting to hug him in a celebratory manner, but Eiji kept her at a close distance, reminding her that she had a sharp knife in her hands.

“Sorry, sorry,” his mother apologized, regaining her composure as putting the leeks aside in a separate bowl, “is he nice?”

“He is,” Eiji replied, not really knowing what to say about Ash to his mom, “we met just a few months after I started living in New York with Ibe.”

“Wow, so you’ve dated that long?” Eiji’s mom asked.

“No, we just started to a few weeks ago. Almost a month now,” Eiji said, “but, I don’t know, mom,” he blushed a little.

“Hm?” 

“Even though we’ve only been dating for a while, I’ve always liked him. I didn’t realize it then, but when I first saw him I was…” Eiji trailed off, thinking back to Ash. “I was captivated,” he said quietly, the tips of his ears burning. He turns to look at his mom staring at him, her eyes soft and a little smile on her face. He flushes, realizing that he’s rambled.

“As long as your happy, Ei-chan, that’s all that matters to your father and I,” She said. She took the mushrooms and started peeling part of the skin to make a pinwheel pattern.

“Does dad know?” Eiji asked.

She gave a slight huff, “Your father is oblivious to almost everything,” she exasperatedly said with a twinge of fondness in her voice, “but, I think he caught on. The way Ash looks at you and vice versa is enough for outsiders to notice.”

Eiji blushes even more, “ _Mooom!_ Don’t say it so embarrassingly like that! You make it seem like we’re all over each other!” He whines.

His mom laughs, “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, dear! You’re young and in love! The world deserves to know.”

“Oh, Ei-chan,” his mom says, “go outside and tell your father to get some of the napa cabbages from the greenhouse. The sukiyaki can’t be completed without it.”

Eiji grumbles and he turns on the faucet to splash his face with cold water, hoping to calm down before he heads outside.

Eiji complies and heads outside, opening the door to the garden. He’s greeted with the sight of his dad pointing to the winter harvests, speaking animatedly and clearly excited about his plants to Ash, while his sister translates closeby. Ash is sitting crouched down and on his feet. His hands rest on his knees as he looks closely at the onions that are growing, his expression one of interest.

“ _Dad_ ,” Eiji shouts out in his native tongue, “ _Mom wants the cabbages from the greenhouse.”_

His dad perks up at the sound of his son’s voice and gives a thumbs up. He glances at Ash, “Will be right back, ok?” he says, waiting for Ash to nod at him in understanding. His dad makes Haruko help him out, but Eiji knows that he doesn’t need any help with picking out a cabbage. He doesn’t ignore how his dad gives him a wink, and he groans in embarrassment. ‘ _He definitely knows,’_ he thinks, but he’s glad that he’s okay with it if he’s teasing him.

Ash looks at him and stands up, dusting whatever dirt managed to get on his jeans.

“Having fun with my dad? Has he mentioned how great of a gardener he is?” Eiji asks playfully as he walks towards where Ash is.

“Because you guys come from a long line of farmers, yeah,” Ash laughs, “your dad’s cool, though.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Eiji smiles, “If he does, he’ll never stop telling us how cool he is.”

Ash laughs even more, his face scrunching up slightly in mirth. Eiji can’t get enough of that sight, and the way Ash’s laugh carries, like the way it was coming from deep inside his body, unable to contain how happy he was. Eiji wants to kiss him, but he has a feeling that maybe his father and sister are watching from the greenhouse just a few feet away.

“Your sister’s great, too. She and your dad bicker a lot,” Ash points out.

Eiji nods, “They really do. Lucky for you, you didn’t have to live with them for twenty years. It was worse when she was a younger.” He remembers how his sister would throw tantrums, locking herself in her room for hours on end before Eiji intervened and rationalized with her. But as they grew up, those fights turned into playful bickering between her and their dad:

“Griff and I never really fought,” Ash mentions. Eiji listens to him; it’s so rare that Ash mentions his late brother.

“Whenever I used to get into fights with my dad, he would always be there,” he continues, “Back then, I really didn’t think about how much I appreciated that, but now I do.”

Eiji stands there, not minding the cold that’s biting his cheeks. His heart reaches out for Ash; he knows that his words won’t do much in this situation. What can he say?

All he can do is reach out for Ash’s hand. He feels how his fingers are cold to the touch, making note that he’ll bring him some mittens once he goes back inside. He intertwines their fingers, hoping to spread what warmth he has. Ash smiles at him, clearly grateful at the heat.

Eiji knows he can’t erase whatever hurt Ash in the past and what still does to this day. As much as Ash says that whatever happened doesn’t bother him as much, Eiji knows it still hurts him to some degree. All he can do is make that pain just a little bit more bearable, letting Ash share some of that weight with him. That’s all he can do on the nights that Ash remembers; he lets him rest his head on his lap, carding his fingers through smooth, golden hair as the other cries quietly, facing Eiji’s stomach.

And he’s okay with that.

Eiji reaches up to smooth the lines of worry creasing in between Ash’s brows.

“Thank you,” Ash said, glancing around him and giving him a quick peck on his lips once making sure no one’s coming near them.

Eiji feels how cold his lips are at that moment and he realizes he must be the same. Eiji shakes his head, “There’s nothing to thank me for, Ash.”

Ash opens his mouth to say otherwise, but he looks at the noise of the greenhouse door closing. They put a little distance between themselves, clearly still shy about showing PDA, nevertheless in front of Eiji’s parents. Just to be polite.

“My mom’s making sukiyaki,” Eiji said, only lightly touching Ash’s fingertips now.

Ash tilts his head a little in question, “Sukiyaki?” He says with an unfamiliar tone in his voice, his accent butchering the words noticeably enough.

“It’s a hotpot. It has meat and veggies,” Eiji explains.

“ _Here’s the cabbage,”_ Eiji’s dad said, handing over the green vegetable to him. Eiji takes it in his arms and tells him ‘thank you’. He ignores the cheeky smile his dad has, making sure to later complain about how his family is out to embarrass him in front of his first and only boyfriend.

“It’ll be a nice, warm dish after being out in the cold,” Eiji continues telling Ash, “I think you’ll be back inside after my dad shows you the greenhouse.”

“Alright,” Ash said, “see you back inside.”

“See you,” Eiji says, resisting the urge to give Ash’s cheek a little peck as a ‘goodbye for now’.

“Ash,” Eiji’s dad says, eager to show him the rest of his precious plants.

Eiji laughs, but Ash looks like he’s genuinely having a good time with his dad and sister. He heads back inside, making sure to give his mom the cabbage. She tells him to rinse it, but Eiji remembers the mittens he planned to give Ash.

“Hold on,” Eiji says, going to the shed room connecting to the backyard. He goes to the hanger where all their winter coats are, searching for his mittens that he has in his pocket. He finds them; a navy blue pair that his grandmother had knitted just before he left to New York. He hurries outside to catch up with Ash, finding him only a few feet away from where he left him as his father had gotten distracted by pointing out some other plants that were currently dormant.

“Ash!” Eiji said, his breath puffing into a cloud as he spoke. Ash turned, one eyebrow raised in confusion.

“Give me your hands,” Eiji said and Ash complied. His palms and tips of his fingers were starting to turn into a bright red. Eiji tugged on the mittens, “Your hands were cold,” he explains.

“I’m not gonna be out for long,” Ash said, “but, thanks.”

Eiji gives a little satisfied smile. He heads back inside, ignoring the teasing jab to his side that his sister gave him after Ash had turned around to listen to their father.

“ _You’re whipped,”_ she teases, making sure their dad doesn’t hear.

Eiji hurries back into their house, not wanting to say anything as he feels his face heat up _again,_ and not just from the cold.

 

—

 

“Eiji,” Ash whispered, hoping that he wasn’t asleep just yet. From the little space they had on the bed, Ash could hear that his breathing hadn’t evened out yet into someone who was already in deep sleep. 

“Hm?” Eiji asked, not opening his eyes but willing to give his attention to Ash.  

“Can we go down to the beach tomorrow?” Ash asked. He had already given it much thought. These past few days with Eiji were enough to mull over the decision of showing him his true self, deciding that he had nothing to fear. Eiji opened up to him, showing him his vulnerabilities, sharing his secrets. This trip to his hometown only reaffirmed the idea of bearing all of himself to Eiji.

“‘S cold, Ash, you can’t swim in the sea right now,” Eiji mumbled.

“I know,” Ash said, “I still want to go, though.”

“Mmm, alright,” Eiji said, “my mom wants us to go run some errands in the morning, though.”

“That’s fine. We can always go later on in the day,” Ash said. Eiji made a soft noise of agreement before not saying anything more. He pulled the blanket a little bit over his neck as he fell back to sleep.

Ash sighed. Outside, there was no noise. Unlike New York City, the nights in Izumo were quiet and devoid of sound. Since Ash had grown used to the constant noise at night, he had a little bit of trouble falling asleep. It wasn’t like Cape Cod, either, where he would leave his window a little open so he could hear the ocean waves outside; like a lullaby, he fell asleep every night listening to it.

He found that if he focused on Eiji’s breath slowly evening out, he fell asleep easier; If he rested his hand just right above Eiji’s wrist, just so he could feel his pulse faintly, he fell asleep easier.

_‘Tomorrow is the day,’_ Ash thinks nervously. He thumbs the key sitting right at the base of his collarbones; he hasn’t thought about in years. He never thought the day would come so soon; he always thought it’d be years from now.

“You’re thinking too loud,” Eiji suddenly mumbles.

Ash lets out an amused huff, “Sorry.”

“Go to sleep,” Eiji says, grabbing Ash’s hand and holding it loosely.

“Okay,” Ash gives in, making himself more comfortable as he burrows himself in the blankets. He gets closer to Eiji, laying his legs over the other’s for more warmth. Soon enough, Eiji’s breath slows down signaling that he’s already fallen asleep. Ash follows in suit just a few seconds later.

 

—

 

The afternoon slowly rolled by after helping Eiji’s mom with the errands she sent them on. They had gone to the other side of town go deliver some home-baked goods to a friend of hers, and even to Ibe’s family home as a way to say ‘thank you’ for Eiji’s job. At the end, they had gone to get groceries from a list that she had given them.

Ash had grown a little tired when they arrived home. He sat by the kotatsu, his feet being heated underneath the blanketed table for warmth. He rested his cheek against the surface of the wood, listening to Eiji and his mom converse in Japanese as he helped her put away the groceries in the kitchen. Ash insisted on helping out, but Eiji’s mother made him go sit down as she handed him a cup of warm, hot chocolate.

Eiji came out of the kitchen and sat in front of Ash, “Still up to going to the beach?”

Ash sat up properly and nodded, “Yeah, I am.”

“Let me just tell my mom,” Eiji stood up, grabbing his coat that was carelessly thrown on the floor before heading into the kitchen again. Ash stood up and hurriedly went into Eiji’s bedroom upstairs, unzipping the bag where the wooden box was.

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. He had kept this locked up for years, ever since his mother walked out and they hid his pelt. He never looked at it once after that. He pulled the necklace over his head, unwrapping the cloth that the box was in with one hand as he held the key in the other. It filled him with a sense of nostalgia when he saw the grooves and designs carved into the wood, and he glanced at the the little seal carving sitting right in the middle before he decided to open it. With a steady hand, he put the key into the keyhole and turned it, hearing a little click.

Ash saw his pelt, folded neatly over itself. He ran his fingers over it, finding it strange but familiar at the same time as the gloss of the cream-colored speckled fur shined slightly in the light of the bedroom. He grabbed it, taking it out of the box it’s been in for so long and stuffed it carefully inside one the pockets in his winter coat.

He put the wooden box back into the bag and the necklace over his neck again. He quickly went down the stairs again, hoping that Eiji didn’t question too much why he went back upstairs.

“Oh, there you are,” Eiji said, looking at Ash descending down the stairs.

“Just needed to grab something upstairs,” Ash said.

“That’s fine,” Eiji shrugged it off, “let’s get going before it gets dark outside.”

Ash nods, putting his shoes back on in the genkan just before leaving, with Eiji doing the same.

 

—

 

Eiji drove to the beach in his mom's car, saying it was too cold to walk a whole twenty minutes to it.

“As much as I love you, I don’t want to freeze and die at this age,” Eiji said when they got into the car. He turned on the heater immediately and waited for the car to warm up before taking off.

“That’s okay, I don’t want that to happen either,” Ash said. He tried to hide how nervous he was by casually talking the whole way to the beach, but he nervously kept on tucking his blonde hair behind his ear and jiggling his leg. Eiji, focused on the road, didn’t really pay extra attention to his movements but offered to turn the heat up more, interpreting his movements as Ash being cold.

Once they arrived, Eiji parked on a paved, little hill that overlooked the sea.

It was extremely cold. The wind hit them, biting at their uncovered skin on their face. Eiji pulled his scarf closer to his neck and pulled it up higher in order to cover his cheeks.

“Why are we here?” Eiji asked. They held hands as they walked down the slope and onto the shore, Ash walking a bit ahead of Eiji.

“I want you to see something,” Ash said, not too completely far off from the truth.

The sky had already turned dark; the sunset hues had faded out and been replaced by the darkness of the sky. It’s blues and purples fading into black swallowed up the warm toned colors, and there was even a few stars already beginning to peek out as the moon shined.

“Show me something?” Eiji was confused. He had no idea what to expect.

Once they were close enough to the rippling waves crashing down onto the shore, Ash let go of Eiji’s hand.

“Can you turn around?” Ash asked, looking at Eiji intensely.

“Um, sure,” Eiji said, waddling a bit in his place as he faced away from Ash.

Ash unbuttoned his winter coat and pulled out his pelt from the inner pocket. He threw his coat over Eiji’s head.

“Ash!” Eiji said, startled at the sudden sensation and darkness. “What–”

“Don’t turn around,” Ash told him.

“I hope you know that I am very confused,” Eiji grumbled.

Ash shivered as he took off his layers, leaving nothing on his body. He stared at his pelt and back the ocean, its waves tumbling into the shore and resounding, then looked at Eiji’s back. The wind chilled him to the very core, making him rushed to decide if he wanted to do this for sure.

_‘I can’t back out now,’_ he thought. He already went through the trouble of making Eiji bring him out here and stand in the cold.

He held his coat close to him and ran towards the ocean, now determined.

 

—

 

Eiji heard the splash of water and he panicked. He couldn’t believe that Ash actually had the capacity to go _into_ the ocean when the weather was reaching freezing temperatures.

“Ash!” Eiji yelled, taking off the coat from his head and looking at the pile of clothes on the sand.

“Are you out of your mind? Ash!” Eiji kept on, waiting for Ash to peek out of the ocean. He was searching for any signs of him. He was absolutely shocked, not knowing what his boyfriend was intending to do.

Catch a cold? Catch pneumonia and _die_?

“Aaaash!” Eiji cupped his hands together around his mouth.

Then, Ash looked at him from the ocean. The only thing visible was his face from the middle of his nose and up. “Ash, oh my god, get out of there,” Eiji said, now hurriedly walking to the ocean, prepared to deal with the aftermath of jumping into the freezing ocean. 

Ash shook his head and held out one arm, motioning for Eiji to stop walking.

Eiji couldn’t exactly place what was running along the length of his arm. It looked weird and glossy. The moonlight was now his only source of light, so he couldn’t see the clearly. Maybe it was seaweed?

Even so, Eiji halted but wasn’t happy about it, “Ash,” he said.

“Look away. I’ll tell you when to look,” Ash said, now raising his head enough for him to speak.

Eiji sighed exasperatedly. _‘It’s only because I love you so much I’m willing to put up with this,’_ he thinks. He faces away, closing his eyes, “Alright, alright.”

He hears the water splash until it gets closer to him.

“You can open your eyes,” Ash says.

Eiji does.

He isn’t prepared to see Ash half covered in what looks like a coat of fur that’s speckled with spots, reminding him of a seal’s fur. He isn’t for sure prepared to see Ash slowly shed out of it. He’s calmly getting out of it, pulling it gently down from his limbs until it’s halfway down his belly that’s a mix between the coat and human skin.

Despite Ash being buck naked underneath whatever it is, Eiji doesn’t look away. He’s too entranced by what's happening.

Ash eventually steps out of the pelt and Eiji’s first reaction is to wrap him up in his winter jacket. He frantically tries to zip up the jacket, his hands slightly shaking. He then tries to make Ash put on his pants, all while saying, “why do you think of going into the ocean at this time! You’re gonna catch a cold!”

“Ei– Eiji, wait,” Ash tries to say over Eiji’s worrying. One hand grips his wet pelt, and the other is trying to stop Eiji and get his attention by grabbing his hand. Eiji looks up at him, eyebrows creased in worry.

“Did that not surprise you?” Ash asks, trying to choose his words carefully.

Eiji opens and closes his mouth, making sense of what just happened.

“Did it not confuse you? Why I just jumped into the ocean and shed out of this?” Ash asked, holding up the wet pelt to Eiji’s face.

“I was more worried about you being cold,” Eiji said, not really processing with what just happened, “please, you can explain it the car. Where we have heating.”

Ash doesn’t know how to react, but he agrees. Eiji is starting to shiver. So he puts his clothes back on, even if he’s getting them wet.

They walk back to the car. The air is thick between them, with how Ash doesn’t know how to approach the subject and with how Eiji brushed past it. He turns the heating all the way up and takes off his scarf around his neck to wipe at the lingering moisture on Ash’s face before wrapping it loosely around his neck.

“Tell me,” Eiji speaks up first. He brushes the wool of the scarf behind Ash’s earlobe and pulls away to face Ash.

Ash stares out into the ocean from the front window, hesitant to meet Eiji’s eyes.

“I’m a selkie,” Ash finally says. He feels his voice tremble a bit at revealing his biggest secret, finally out there in the open for Eiji to hear and judge. Eiji is quiet, saying nothing as he waits for Ash to speak a little bit more. When he sees that the blond won’t, he decides to talk.

“My grandmother told me stories about them,” Eiji says, “If you grow up in a town near the beach, you are bound to hear tales about all sorts of creatures of the sea.”

Ash’s attention is now on him, so he continues, now feeling a bit more brave.

“My great-grandfather was a fisher. One day he went down to this shore to do his daily task and he found, well, a woman who was a selkie,” Eiji explains, looking towards the sea.

“They fell in love and lived together for years and years,” Eiji said.

“Wait? Are you…?” Ash asks, his face expressing surprise, rising a bit from his seat in surprise. _‘I would’ve known,’_ Ash thinks, still thinking of the possibility of Eiji being at least a bit of someone like him.

Eiji laughs a bit and shakes his head, “No, I’m not part selkie.”

Ash sits back on his seat, now frowning, “Did she leave him?”

“Yes, she did,” Eiji confirms, but not looking at least a little sad.

“I know that… that the creatures from the sea are compelled to go back home,” Eiji says, “and the woman my great-grandfather loved did exactly that. He was heartbroken of course, but he moved on eventually.”

Ash stayed quiet. It was a relief that Eiji was so understanding, but he was afraid of what he would think of him now. Now that he knew that folks such as him eventually go back, not being able to resist the urge of home, no matter how much they tried to.

“That’s why my mom left,” Ash said.

“Ah,” Eiji realizes, now clicking the explanations into place.

“I moved to the city because I was afraid,” Ash begins, “the ocean never felt like home, because I wasn’t born _in_ it like my mother was. Even so, I was afraid of how it still called to me,” Ash reveals, “Yeah, my mother would guide and teach me in there but we never went far off from the shallow waters.”

“So, how can it tempt me so much?” he questions.

“Because it’s still home, isn’t it?” Eiji rhetorically asks.

Ash breathes out, “I guess it is.”

“Would you like to move back home?” Eiji asked after a brief moment of quiet.

“What do you mean?” Ash asked back.

“Back to Cape Cod. After I get enough money, I think we can both move there and get a little house, or we can move into yours. Just for the two of us,” Eiji says, “or we could live here in Japan. Not necessarily here in Izumo, maybe in another town near the beach or even the city.”

“Or, we could move somewhere else. I heard California is nice,” Eiji rambles on, suggesting all different places to Ash, “I would make my own little business selling photos, maybe even setting up my own studio like Ibe-san.”

“Wait, Eiji,” Ash stops him, “you aren’t afraid?”

Eiji turns to him, “Afraid of what?”

“Me leaving you? You’re willing to do all these things even with the possibility that I’ll be like my mother and the woman your great-grandfather fell in love with?” Ash explains.

“Not at all,” Eiji says wholeheartedly, “I would be sad, of course. But, it’s like telling me I wouldn’t be allowed to come back to Japan at all. Like forcing me to abandon a part of me that’s very close."

Ash is stunned, not knowing how to reply.

“Plus, that isn’t what love is,” Eiji adds, “Love is wanting the best for the other person, even when it isn’t exactly all nice for yourself,” he looks at Ash and gives him a soft smile, “right?”

Ash feels his eyes burn a little. He envelops Eiji in an embrace, even if the coaster in the middle of their two seats in uncomfortable. He buries his head in the crook of Eiji’s neck, hiding the fact that just a few tears are starting to come out from the overwhelming emotions.

Eiji presses a kiss to Ash’s head, rubbing his back in soothing patterns, “There’s no reason for me to be afraid, Ash, and neither for you to be either.”

“I love you so damn much,” Ash mumbles, his lips pressing tender kisses into the exposed part of Eiji’s neck and just right underneath his ear.

“I know,” Eiji replies, “I love you, too.”

 

—

 

It seems like they’re bond had grown even closer since the reveal at the beach. That night, they sleep entangled in each other’s limbs, sleeping closer than before. Eiji rests his head against Ash’s chest, listening to his heartbeat as they fall asleep.

They leave Japan with teary eyes. Eiji gives all his family goodbye hugs and kisses on the cheek, promising him that he’ll be back to visit. His family also embraces Ash in a group hug. His mom tells him to come back soon, while his dad gives him a few hard pats to the back, telling him that he would be a joy to have around again. His sister grins and simply says, “Take good care of my brother.”

Eiji and Ash meet up with Ibe at the train station, beginning their trip back to NYC. Once at Ibe’s and Eiji’s apartment, Ash stays over since it’s too late to walk the ten minutes to his own apartment. Besides, all they wanna do is just sleep, exhaustion deep in their bones. Ibe tells them both goodnight as he retires to his room.

Both of them are too tired to move from the bed, not minding that their pillows are still on the suitcase in the other end of room.

Ash has one hand throw loosely over Eiji’s waist, while Eiji tucks his head just right underneath Ash’s chin. They fall asleep like that, Eiji mumbling ‘good night’ despite it being the early hours of the morning. Ash says it back and succumbs to the tiredness that his body feels.

 

—

 

Before he knew it, spring had come. The weather turned from being unbearably cold to a nice temperature. Ash and Eiji were finally able to go out into the city and not freeze once they walked around for just five minutes.

Their relationship had progressed; if their bond wasn’t deep already, it certainly was now. Eiji was seriously considering moving with Ash into his apartment after Ash had suggested it one day. He enjoyed the nights he spent at Ash’s, waking up in the morning to his peaceful face next to him. He liked the days where he woke up first as he was able to cook Ash breakfast. He reveled in the feeling of what people called domestic bliss, turning on the radio to fill up the quiet noise of the morning as he cooked. It wasn’t like Ash minded the noise since he was such a heavy sleeper.

Ash would soon join him, claiming he was awake because of the smell of food. That’s how they enjoyed their mornings. Sometimes, Ash would come up behind Eiji and press a kiss to the crown of his head as he hugged him from behind. Other times, they would have impromptu dance parties to whatever tune was playing. Sometimes it was Ash who pulled him to dance, after making sure that their breakfast wouldn’t burn as they moved around, hands clasped together and their laughs the loudest thing in the morning. Sometimes it was Eiji who would get Ash to move around, even if the taller male sleepily moved his limbs and made it a little bit difficult for Eiji to dance with him.

On the days that Eiji didn’t have work, they would sleep in until noon. Although, it was mostly Ash sleeping in. Eiji would browse the internet on his phone as he waited for the other to wake up. As soon as the blond would get up, Eiji always teased him about how he was such a late riser, exaggerating it to the point where he would say that Ash could spend the majority of his life asleep and consider it a happy one.

“Like a cat,” Eiji would say.

Ash pouted at those comments.

Eiji also had the pleasure of hearing Ash’s beautiful singing voice. It was crystal clear and perfect in pitch. He knew that it was attributed to him being a selkie. No human was capable of such a beautiful voice. He would close his eyes as Ash’s singing would resound against the walls, creating an ethereal atmosphere.

It was like the world was placed on halt, revolving around Ash’s very existence. Eiji swore that the noises outside would drown out and stop, no distant sirens or car horns blaring would be heard whenever Ash sang along to the radio or simply recalled a song as he went around the apartment. It would always place a smile on Eiji’s face. The modern day stresses of his job and other worries would diminish in those few minutes.

Eiji also had a few questions about Ash’s selkie half, but the most important one that he bugged Ash about was:

“Can I see you as a seal?”

“Is that really what you want? It’s nothing special,” Ash would reply every single time Eiji would ask.

“But seals are cute,” Eiji said, giving his best ‘please for me’ eyes to Ash.

“So I’m not cute with the way I am now?” Ash teased.

Eiji rolled his eyes, pinching his cheek, “You’re adorable, but I have to say that seals are a close second.”

“Good thing I can be both then,” Ash said.

Eiji brightened up, “So, yes? Will you show me your seal form?”

Ash laughed, “When you say it like that, it sounds slightly dumb.”

“Don’t try to change the subject,” Eiji told him, “come on, please.”

Ash eventually gave in after the sixth time, promising that yes, he would show Eiji that side of him. “We can go to Cape Cod this weekend,” he told him. Eiji first was excited and happy that Ash agreed to it, but then thought about it deeply and considered that Ash hadn’t set foot in Cape Cod ever since he left.

“Is it okay?” Eiji asked, worry etching on his features.

Ash shrugged, “I think it’s been long enough for me to go visit,” he contemplated, surprising Eiji with how nonchalant he was. He didn’t want to dig deeper, knowing that Ash was still the slightest sensitive about his hometown. So, he went along with it.

That’s how he found himself in Cape Cod the following weekend after that conversation, standing next to Ash as they went into the family-runned bar that his father owned. There was a bit of an altercation, with how Ash’s father yelled that his son was certainly brave for showing up again after years. Ash brushed it off, saying that he wouldn’t have to worry about him coming back since they would leave the next day. After that, Ash’s father stormed off into the backroom of the bar, mumbling under his breath about having a ‘ignorant son’. Eiji was close to trailing after him, wanting to talk about how he could speak to his own flesh and blood like that, but Ash held him back, saying not to bother.

However, Jennifer was kind enough to them.

She greeted Ash with a warm smile on her face. When she looked at Eiji, she didn’t try to pry into what their relationship was as she simply introduced herself with the same smile she gave to Ash.

“Here are the keys to the old house,” She handed them over, “It might be a little dusty, seeing how we moved to the upstairs here just a couple years ago.”

“That’s fine,” Ash told her, “thank you.”

Before they left the bar, Jennifer told them to come over the next day to eat before they took off, no matter what time of day. Eiji nodded, smiling at her before Ash and him left.

The walk to Ash’s childhood home wasn’t far off. They walked on a trail surrounded by beachgrass on either sides. Eiji could feel the wind from the currents from where they were. It tousled his hair and blew his locks all over the place, ignoring how well-kempt it was before. He could also see the ocean in the distance from the hill they were on, marveling at how pretty it looked. He watched Ash’s back as the walked, wondering how he was feeling at this exact moment. He worried a bit, but knew to trust in him. If there was anything that concerned him, Eiji knew that he would voice his struggles.

Ash unlocked the front door when they arrived to the house. It looked worn down, but cozy. It wasn’t as messy as he expected for a house that wasn’t well kept for the past few years. It still pretty much looked the same to him since he left, provided that there was a few changed here and there. Ash flipped the light switch and grumbled when all the lights wouldn’t turn on. There was still light outside which was enough for the day. He would have to find candles lying around if the lamps didn’t work.

Eiji wondered around as he stepped in and couldn’t help but marvel at the sight of the shore from the kitchen windows. It was surreal, seeing where Ash was from. This very house was where Ash spent his childhood. That very ocean is the one where his mother and him played around in, showing her son how to be that part of him, the biological connection that was not just mother and son. More somberly, he noted that very ocean was where Ash last saw his mother. It’s what drove him away from this place in the first place.

“Eiji?” Ash called out, interrupting Eiji’s thinking.

“Hm?” Eiji made a noise, turning his head to look at the other that was just a few centimeters away from him.

Ash looks at him, his eyes searching for any inclination of what he was thinking, “Nothing, you were just spacing out.”

Eiji finds that he can’t explain so he simply shrugs, “It’s the ocean,” he lamely said, his words dying out on him slightly.

Ash huffed in amusement, “It’s not like you’ve never seen it before. You grew up in a coast town, too.”

Eiji thinks of what to say, “But it’s _your_ ocean. There’s memories here and I think I’m happy that you have decided to show me this part of your life.” His words come out easily, despite struggling a few seconds ago. He knows it’s hard to bear one’s soul to another person, and he could only imagine how hard it’s been for Ash to reveal everything of what made him up.

Ash moves slightly closer to him, now looking at the expanse of water out there and how it crashed into the shore in light waves. “I trust you, Eiji,” he said softly, “of course I would want to share this part of my life with you.” He takes Eiji’s hand in his in, enveloping it in warmth.

They say nothing more as they simply enjoy each other’s company, looking out the window and watching the world go by and occasionally glancing at each other, almost likely shy love birds despite moving past that stage a long time ago. They move from the spot when Ash’s stomach growls in hunger, which Eiji responds to with a laugh, completely endeared by the slightest of things.

 

—

 

The next day, during the early hours of the morning, Eiji and Ash go down to the shore. Ash holds his selkie pelt in one hand and Eiji’s hand in the other. They’re huddling close to each other as there are strong winds and a slight chill in the air. Eiji almost trips over Ash’s feet and kicks sand all over Ash’s jeans from the movement, which the younger jokingly pretends to be annoyed and bothered at. They bicker up until they separate once close to the waters.

Ash motions for Eiji to turn around, which he does and doesn’t look back until a few minutes later.

Eiji’s absolutely over the moon as he sees a cuddly, round seal in Ash’s stead. He knows it him because of the creamy fur color, and also the fact that he’s the only seal around here. He wiggles with excitement as he hurries over to where the seal is, immediately kneeling down to wrap his arms around and laughing at how _cute_ Ash is like this. He buries his face in the fur, inhaling a surprisingly clean smell.

“Can you do tricks?” Eiji teases as he grins at Ash.

He doesn’t know how a seal can manage to look so annoyed, but Ash perfectly conveys it.

 

  
**•**  
 **•**  
 **•**  
 **•**

 

 

Ash and Eiji end up moving to the West Coast to California after being together for just a little over a year. It’s a cute, rural town just three hours north from San Francisco, where they live in a rustic, craftsmanship house that sits ten minutes away from the beach. When looking for a place to live, Eiji mainly agreed to buying the house as he saw how Ash stared outside the windows, mesmerized and a expression of tranquility on his face.

It had two stories, with two bedrooms on the second floor along with one, spacious bathroom. There was natural lighting everywhere as well, since all the walls had plenty of large, bay windows. It was safe to say that for the both of them, this location reminded them of home. From the sight of the ocean being close enough to see for Ash, and from the quietness of the town for Eiji. It was perfect for both of them.

Eiji took photos of the small town; once the people there caught wind that he was a photographer, they would ask him for sessions or booked him to take photos. He was often asked to go to birthday parties, to the graduation of the local and only high school there, and for more intimate, family photos. It was good money and made Eiji happy as he was able to capture happy moments. Ash still had Griffin’s compensation money coming in, so combining it with what Eiji had coming in, they were able to live a comfortable life. And after the visit to Cape Cod, Jennifer would discreetly send him some money here and there from their business. Although, Ash considered finding a job. He wondered if there were any places that were okay with him not having a high school diploma. Maybe the local diner would take him in; the owners were friendly with him.

Even Eiji let his hair grow out, now a few inches longer from the tight cut at the nape of his neck. Ash didn’t mind; at first, he was curious as to why Eiji hadn’t gone to get a haircut but he liked the way he could comb his fingers through the strands now. He liked the way Eiji leaned in, closing his eyes in content as his digits caressed his scalp, finding it relaxing for both Eiji and him.

After a while, their home was decorated with not only photos of them two, but also had photos of their friends and family placed around the house. It eventually became more lived in, and more like a place that they felt comfortable in. It had their personalities in it, from the way the kitchen was arranged to the small recollections in their bedroom.

Eiji had found peace, and he only hoped that Ash did too.

 

—

 

Ash’s selkie coat wasn’t hidden anymore and locked away in its box. It was in their bedroom, folded neatly on top of the dresser, free for anybody to see. It wasn't like they had visitors, anyways. He looked at it every time he entered and exited to the room. It had been a month since they moved to the new town, but he still hadn’t been down to the beach to go into the waters. Truthfully, Ash was nervous to go in. He was nervous to go back and properly experience the waters like he did when he was younger. He was reminded of his mom; the first time they ever went, she showed Ash his skin, encouraging him to follow her into the water despite him shaking his head and being fearful, even if the waves were calm that day.

He meant to talk about his conflict with Eiji. After all, he was his partner. He never knew how to bring it up, always mouthing like a fish gasping for air when he tried to articulate his feelings.

In the end, it was Eiji who noticed Ash’s struggle. It was already evening when he came back home from a photography session, family portraits of their neighbors, the Velazquez, from down the street who always brought them homemade dishes. Sometimes Ash and Eiji would babysit the youngest kid, who was 3, while the oldest sibling came home from school and picked him up.

Eiji came into the house that night, announcing that he was home and had brought dinner that Mrs. Velazquez had given him.

“Ash?” He called out, finding it weird that the blond wasn’t on the couch, snuggled up with a book or watching whatever was on TV. Eiji climbed up the stairs to their bedroom, thinking that maybe Ash already retired to bed for the night despite it only being 8 P.M.

There he found Ash, after opening the door to their room, sitting at the foot of the bed and holding what seemed to be his pelt in his hands.

“Ash?” Eiji asked.

Ash looked up and met Eiji’s gaze, “Oh, you’re home.”

He noticed that Ash had a troubled expression on his face. Eiji nodded as he went to go sit next to Ash, hoping to comfort him. He knew that Ash had been struggling to make the decision to go back to the sea; not to leave once and for all, but to just experience where he was from once again.

“How was the session?” Ash asked.

“It went well,” Eiji said. He would be excited to talk about the photographs, but there was something else he wanted to get to, “Ash, what are you worried about?”

“Hm?” Ash asked, feigning ignorance.

Eiji touched the pelt, curling his fingers around the glossy fur, “About this. About you. Why are you hesitating?”

Ash finally cracked and spread out all his worries in front of Eiji. He confessed that it concerned him– going back. He was scared that he couldn’t come back home, back to Eiji, if the call of the ocean was too strong.

In return, Eiji consoled him. He hugged him, telling him words of compassion and support. He told him that he wouldn’t have to worry. Yes, the fears were rational, but Ash had to overcome it.

With Eiji’s blessing, Ash finally mustered up the courage. The following day in the afternoon, while Eiji was out for work, Ash went out to the shore with his pelt in his hands.

Eiji came home that night, knowing that Ash had gone. He admitted that it slightly worried him, no matter how much he let on that he was completely fine with Ash going back. His stomach churned with the idea of Ash never returning, but he reassured himself that it wouldn’t happen. The bond they had was much too strong.

(And if it did, then what could Eiji do? He couldn’t go out to sea and explore each corner just to find Ash. But, at the same time, he knew that he would, only for Ash.)

He stayed up until midnight that night. He wrapped up the leftovers from dinner in some cling film before he went up to bed. It was strange, not having Ash there by his side and feeling his body heat.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he remembered being woken up by the bed dipping on side and the feeling of Ash wrapping his arms around his middle. Eiji turned, the relief he felt overriding his still sleep brain. He saw Ash, his face being illuminated by the moonlight peeking through the window curtains. He could see that some drops still were on his face, and that his hair was slightly damp. His eyes were even more piercing than usual, making Eiji entranced by the green hue that shone like jewels themselves, true to his namesake.

“You did it,” Eiji whispered.

Ash smiled, “I did.” He pressed a kiss to Eiji’s forehead, “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For being by my side,” Ash said.

“It’s no problem,” Eiji responded, snuggling closer to Ash but flinched slightly, “You’re cold.”

“Well, the waters aren’t exactly warm this time of year,” Ash explained.

“Hm,” Eiji hummed, “I’ll warm you up.”

Ash winked playfully and Eiji groaned, “I didn’t mean it for it to sound that way.”

“But it did sound like that,” Ash replied.

“I’m too tired, Ash,” Eiji complained. Ash gave up on teasing him and let Eiji wrap them up in the blankets. The other male threw one leg over Ash’s, pulling them closer to one another.

“Goodnight, I love you,” Eiji said. Ash’s heart stuttered. No matter how many times they told each other those three words, he still was impacted by them like the first time they told each other.

“I love you, too,” Ash told him back, fondness lacing his town. He brushed a few strands of dark hair away from Eiji’s forehead, leaning in slightly to kiss the patch of skin and whispered ‘good night’ just before falling asleep.

 

—

 

It was a routine now.

Ash would leave every other day to the sea, telling Eiji beforehand. Eiji would wait for him, staring out at the water's through the windows. Usually, Ash was only out for that day, but sometimes, he would be gone for the whole night and the next, spending two days out of their house. He always came back though. He always found Eiji either asleep and would cuddle up besides him, announcing that he was home, which Eiji would sleepily reply a ‘welcome back’ and adjusting himself to make room for Ash; Or, he found Eiji waiting on their couch, a tender smile on his face as he kissed Ash’s damp cheek in greeting.

Sometimes, Eiji would sit on the shore, looking at the waves colliding against each other and rippling all the way to the sand. He would wait for Ash there sometimes, always welcoming him as he emerged from the waters. Other days, he just liked the calming aura of the beach; it was a small town, and visitors were slightly rare which meant that the beach wasn’t crowded and instead tranquil.

However, there was still fear in both their hearts.

Eiji would dread the day that Ash never came home.

Ash dreaded the day that he wouldn’t return, leaving Eiji all alone in their home. Would he hate him after that? Would Eiji continue on with his life or spend his life searching for him. 

But still, the solace they found in each other and the happiness they felt overcame the fear, smashing it into a tiny little corner in their brains. Eventually, that fear would be nonexistent. They both knew it was just due to the newness of it all. Ash knew that his love for Eiji was too strong to ever leave him. He couldn’t ever distance himself from the one person that felt like home. Eiji trusted Ash enough, expressing his admiration and love for the other every day, and always had a big smile whenever Ash would return. With his arms open, he would hug Ash as he welcomed him. He could smell the fresh smell of the ocean of him, saltwater and something else he couldn’t quite place. Nevertheless, it was _Ash._

Ash, who was nicer than he let on. Ash, who wholeheartedly trusted Eiji down to his core. Ash, who had his own language of love that Eiji found so endearing.

His heart swells up with pride as he watches Ash grow more comfortable in his own skin. He doesn’t hold any shame or hesitations in what he is as time passes by—he isn’t hindered by the past anymore.

“It’s all thanks to you,” Ash tells him.

Eiji refuses to take all the credit, he shakes his head from where he rests it on the other’s shoulder. “Don’t leave yourself out. It’s you who did all the work,” he says lightly, watching the sunlight’s rays dance along their intertwined fingers from where they’re sitting on the couch. It’s golden light casts a lovely hue on their figures, Eiji wishes that he could take a photo of them right now.

“But, you stayed despite everything,” Ash says after considering what to say, trying to make it clear how much Eiji means to him. Eiji looks up at him, not moving from his position, but he manages to catch Ash looking right back at him with tenderness in his eyes. Eiji smiles just the slightest where he’s showing a little bit of teeth, “Of course I would.”

Words couldn’t convey how much they meant to each other. But, they knew. They knew that they belonged to each other. They knew that the other person would always be _home._

It would always be their house, surrounded by tranquility; their house with the view of the ocean that could be seen by all the windows in each of the rooms. Their house that belonged to the both of them, and where they would always go back to each other at the end every day.

Eiji would look forward to the day where he could tell his own family of his own tales. The tale of Ash; Of Aslan Jade Callenreese, the beautiful selkie boy who was troubled by who he was, and would eventually overcome that fear. The beautiful selkie boy who confided in Eiji, even if it scared him. He wondered if it would be as romantic as he thought, just like his great-grandfather’s tale. When he hears Ash hum a little tune to himself as he traces random patterns on the back of Eiji’s hand, he’s reassured that the future he’s made with Ash is where fate has led them to be.

_‘I think it’s safe to say it will be,’_ Eiji thinks with a little smile forming on his face.

 

**•**   
**•**   
**•**   
**•**

  
**end**

**Author's Note:**

> sooo this was a fic i worked quite a while on ig? i started it late summer vacations, then i stopped writing it just before i finished it bc adjusting to freshman yr of college was harder than i thought... but i finally found time to finish it! this was a fluff fest tbh, but i needed it bc banana fish is angsty despite all the cute moments :((((( 
> 
> thank you so much for taking the time to read this fic and i hope you liked it! feel free to message me on my twitter (@cypherheaux) and on my tumblr (@dyotxt)! thanks and i hope you have a lovely day/afternoon/evening <3


End file.
